Scientists Design a Crash-Proof Human and We Can’t Stop Laughing

When the Transport Accident Commission was tasked with creating a human that could withstand the immense physical trauma of a car accident, they came up with this abomination, nicknamed Graham. His purpose is to teach people just how dangerous car accidents are and show how ill equipped the human form is to withstand motor accidents.

If you can stand to look at this creature, you’ll notice that every inch of his body is built to withstand impacts and whiplash. His survivability might be impressive, but it comes at a high price. Namely, looking like some kind of inbred thumb person.

Below is a short video that describes the process behind designing Graham’s face.

The team behind Graham decided that the safest design for a face that has to withstand hitting a steering wheel would be a flat one with lots of padding. This explains his inflated balloon appearance. Now, this whole project gives insight into how humans could be better designed for their current environment, but we still have one question.

Does he have to have twelve nipples? I don’t feel like nipple quantity has any correlation to crash survivability. Whether or not this bizarre sculpture serves an educational purpose, it will definitely be crashing through the walls of our nightmares tonight.